Bitch by Meredith Brooks

This song has always been in my list of songs-to-sing when I go to videoke-ing with my friends.

And lastnight, I sang with a great buddy on stage. Hahaha. Not one of my best performances, but I had great fun!

=)

Love sucks!

I think I am a failure today because I had no words of wisdom, no words of comfort to my friend who is having relationship problems. How can I give sound advice when I myself am in a rut.

I have had 3 failed long term, serious relationships and what have I got to show for? Nothing. I have learned nothing, and I think I am regressing even more.

Relationships suck. Why does it have to be hit and miss? Wouldn't it be a lot easier for everybody if you just have to wait for that somebody and that's it? Why do you meet someone, fall in love and just get bruised? And after all that you regress... get jaded. You end up offering less of yourself to someone because you've been there and you have been disappointed, failed, let down...

I have been on both sides of the story. I've experienced letting down someone and being left behind. Why did that have to happen? Relationships suck.

Nothing exciting happened to me today.

I was 20 minutes late for work and 2 patients were waiting for me already. My boss got a little worried but he let it go because it was my first time to be tardy -- and that is kinda a BIG deal for me. Haha. I think during my 3 years of residency, I was late about 80% of the time.

After my stint in Makati, I ran to my clinic in Manila and stayed there for 4 hours. I only saw two patients today. I was kinda disappointed on the pathetic patient turn out but was happy nevertheless because I got to spend quality time with my two patients.

Hmmm... I feel like discussing the difference between my work in Makati and Manila, so here goes...

My role: In Makati, I am a hired dermatologist and laser specialist. In Manila, I am my own boss, practicing clinical dermatology.
Patient-Physician Relationship: In Makati, I don't need to develop that rapport with my patients because my boss does that for me. I just diagnose and treat them. In Manila, I eventually become friends with my patients and somehow, that makes my job more fulfilling.
Earnings: This makes my job in Makati fulfilling. My clinic in Manila is more of my avenue for giving back -- service to the people.
Room for growth: Since I just recently graduated, both jobs are teaching me a lot about being a private physician, a businesswoman, and basically, just being an independent adult in the real world.

So you see, nothing exciting happened today. Time to sleep.

Entry No. 1

I have kept a diary since I was in grade 2. I think my last diary was way back during internship. Since then, I just didn't have time for it or maybe, I realized that keeping a diary was in a way unhealthy.


I have recently rediscovered my blog (interncagayan@blogspot.com) and though I think I only wrote less than 20 entries, I find it amusing to read about my feelings from waaaay back. Yes, it felt like ten years ago when only about 4 years have passed. I find that experience therapeutic so here goes my attempt at rekindling my passion for ranting and raving and enriching my literary-self. Haha.


Why do I wanna be a rockstar? Nothing gives me a higher high than performing on stage. I have fallen in love with the bass line and I'm seriously considering getting myself a bass guitar for my birthday this year. Haha.